True Alpha Scott McCall
I mean come on
the whole movie is gold
It’s just one pun after another
The movie is completely random and it’s amazing
someone find the shit hitting the fan gif.
"PUTANA DA SEATBELTZ"
Tony wakes up to the sound of someone banging on the door, and he’s halfway through groaning ‘fuck off’ when he realizes his voice isn’t his voice and it’s his birthday, he’s eighteen today, and that means he’s switched with his soulmate when they’re eighteen-
He bolts upright in bed, and a weirdly familiar voice on the other side of the door yells, “COME ON AND OPEN UP, I HAVE FIVE BUCKS ON WHETHER YOU’RE A BEAUTIFUL DAME OR NOT,” and Tony spares a look down his soulmate’s body, which, wow, thin, and very male, Howard will not be pleased- before going and opening the door.
The face is familiar, too, and it’s grinning. “Please, please tell me you’re a beautiful dame, Steve will crap himself.”
"Uh," Tony says, and clears his throat, which is scratchy. The guy’s probably had a cold recently. "Sure, we can go with that."
The guy snorts, comes inside. “I’m Bucky, I’m your soulmate’s best pal, and let me tell you, you’re the luckiest dame in America. Your soulmate’s name is Steve Rogers, and don’t let the whole skinny thing get you down, trust me, he’s gonna be the best soulmate you’d ever wa- hey, you okay?”
Tony expects he’s not looking very good right now, because he feels like he’s just gotten hit over the head with a skillet. “Steve- Rogers,” Tony croaks, looking down at the body again, bare chest and feet, skinny everywhere- “Is his middle name Grant?”
Bucky’s grin comes back at a hundred miles an hour. “Yeah! You know him?”
"I," Tony says. A laugh comes bubbling up- god, when he tells Howard, he’s going to get slapped so hard. "Give me a mirror?"
"Got one handy just for this occasion," Bucky says, and brings out a shard of cracked glass.
Tony takes it with strange fingers, and looks at the reflection of his soulmate, who died decades before he was born.
Steve Rogers stares back at him in the mirror, and Bucky Barnes- Cap’s best friend, war hero, also dead a long time before Tony came into the world- nudges his shoulder. “Hey, you got a name? Where do you live? Because it ain’t Brooklyn, I can tell that.”
"Uh, California," Tony says- it doesn’t matter, he tells himself dully. "I’m, my name’s Tony."
Bucky’s smile falters. “Huh. Any chance that stands for Antonia?”
"Huh," Bucky says again, and sighs. "Okay, that makes things harder, but we’ll cope. It’s July, 1937, by the way- did you come back or forwards?"
"Back," Tony says, and laughs again, watching his dead soulmate’s face in the mirror as he does it.
When Tony gets back, his mother slowly, haltingly tells him what he already knew.
"We didn’t- we told him- Steve- it was still the 30s," Maria says, looking at Tony with a sadness she’s obviously trying to cover. "Didn’t let him out of the house. I- we haven’t told Howard yet, but I can do it, if you’d like."
Tony blinks at his mother, surprised. “Thank you,” he hears himself day. “But I can do it, it’s fine.”
Maria smiles, a small, almost pitying thing, and she reaches out and squeezes his shoulder for a second. “I’m so sorry.”
"Yeah," Tony says, shrugging past the nausea. "It’s- it’s okay, really. We’ll make up something, say my soulmate died before they could turn eighteen."
When Tony tells Howard, he doesn’t get the slap he’s expecting, instead he gets a tight, disappointed glare and a dismissal. Tony would very much rather the slap, something that has a tangible sting for hours afterwards rather than the stinging rejection in his head.
His mother comes to him later, pushes a photo of Steve Rogers pre-serum into his hand, and Tony makes himself smile and thanks her for it.
He puts it at the back of a drawer and doesn’t look at it for a long time.
Three days after Captain America is pulled out of the Atlantic with a heartbeat, Tony gets a house call.
He’s been expecting it- his hands shake as he sets his tumbler of whiskey down and comes into the lounge where JARVIS told him the visitor was waiting.
Steve’s breath hitches when he sees him. “Tony.”
"Steve," Tony says, unable to look at Steve’s expression for too long, because how can anyone even look like that, look that broken open?
"You didn’t mention how far back you came," Steve says after seconds have passed and neither of them have spoken. "Or- or anything. About what would happen."
"Yeah, well." Tony shrugs, the motion wooden. "Didn’t want to mess with the time stream. Sorry, Cap."
"Steve," Tony corrects himself softly. "Right. Uh, sorry I didn’t come to see you at SHIELD, I thought you might need a while to get used to- things."
"Still do," Steve says, and they stand there in Tony’s big lounge, meters apart, hands at their sides.
"Look," Tony says. "We don’t have to- talk, or try to get to know each other right now. I can wait until you’re-"
"You thought your soulmate was dead for most of your life," Steve cuts him off, and Tony doesn’t flinch, but it’s a close thing. "I thought you’d be happy about getting me back, that you’d be-" Steve stops, sighs, pushes a hand through his hair. "Sorry."
"I’m happy about you being back," Tony says, and Steve looks back at him again. "But you’ve just woken up from a seventy year nap, C- Steve. I just want to give you some time."
"I think we’ve both had too much time," Steve says, jaw clenching, and there it is, there’s the stubborn little shit Bucky described to him on his day in 1937, so long ago. "And I’m sorry we both had to wait so long, I’m sorry I’m not- good, right now, I probably won’t be for a while, but god, we’ve waited lifetimes for each other, and I’d really like it if I could get to know the fella who the universe thought I’d be perfect for, the fella the universe dragged me across decades for."
He stops, pockets his hands, clears his throat. “Uh, if you’d like.”
Tony’s missed Steve, even though the closest he had come to meeting him was spending a day in his body when he was a teenager. He’s missed him his whole life, aching down to his bones with it, and he never thought he’d get this chance, never thought he’d have Steve in front of him like this-
"I’d like that very much," Tony says, and when Steve smiles, something very old inside Tony clicks into place for the first time.
you know how much pressure there is on girls to be good at every video game they play, because if they fuck up once there’s going to be a heck of a lot of people saying how girls suck and how they shouldn’t play video games
There, I’ve been working on this Gif-set for weeks! Some of you may already know I’ve become blond again. I’m working my way towards white and animu as fuck. Or as close to white as I can get, it might end up being silver but meh, that’s nice too.
I’m looking through VändettA’s cmvs and I’m watching Kiss the Girl for the first time in ages and omg it’s been so long?? We’re so tiny like I think I’m 16 or something in that one haha and we made so many beginner mistakes, like my favourite is that you can see the script lying around in several scenes pff